Naked Winery

Clothing’s optional figuratively speaking of course.

It wasn’t a chance encounter that brought Dave Michalec and David and Jody Barringer together around the turn of the millennium. Turns out the Barringers, with children in tow, escaped the big city for the more bucolic setting of the Hood River area and they needed a real estate agent. Enter Dave, a local real estate agent who showed them a property that became the Barringers’ new home. The fact that the property had some neglected premium grape vines got them talking about their love for the fruit of the vine, one thing led to another and eventually Naked Winery was born.

“Why the name Naked Winery?” I asked.

“Because we aim to tease,” responded Dave. At this point, David chimed in with a philosophical point about putting romance back into wine. Indeed, we think of pairing wine with food, music, and good friends, but wine pairing with sex? Absolutely! There are probably a fair number of babies born every day that are conceived with the help of cabernet sauvignon. Dave noted that they will be adding dancing poles in the tasting room and giving away T-shirts to those brave women who dare to do a pole dance. Imagine the reaction of Hood River’s salty founders if they saw “Do you want to get naked?” on the back of T-shirts worn by the women of Hood River.

But aside from the winery’s rather risqué trappings, the two Davids produce some serious vino. Not surprisingly, given their Columbia Gorge location and easy access to cool climate and hot-weather grapes, they make a full line-up of reds and whites. But it’s the names that carry on the brand theme. How’s this for reds: Dominatrix Pinot Noir, Penetration Cabernet Sauvignon, and Missionary Cabernet Sauvignon? Not to be outdone, the whites check in with names like Tease Riesling, Foreplay Chardonnay and Sugar Daddy Muscat.

Naked’s tasting room location in Hood River provides the perfect venue to host gatherings, including small weddings, winemaker dinners and, of course, bachelorette parties. Coincidently, the day I visited Naked Winery, the staff was preparing for an “industry party” for that evening. The community associated with the burgeoning wine industry, from growing grapes to slapping the labels on the bottles, was invited to stop by and enjoy nibbles and wine. I hear tell it was an orgasmic experience.